My goal this year is to read 25 books. I have not read that many in about 7 years and I figure that I can handle two books per month (give or take). So far I am on a good track, especially since I finished THREE books in March alone!
Here is the 2012 reads so far:
The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, The Boleyn Inheritance, Skipping Christmas, A Game of Thrones, Look Again, Stealing Jenny (my FIRST eBook read), and Still Missing
I’m currently reading another eBook called Out of Mormonism - yes, my fascination with everything Mormon continues. And, it was a FREE eBook at Amazon Kindle Store. I’m enjoying the eBook read, but I’m a goal oriented reader - looking constantly at page count, chapters, etc. and I find that difficult to do in eBook format. But, it’s fine. And I’m kind of only half-heartedly reading this book so it’s good to just read when convenient. Mainly in the mornings while sipping coffee and waiting on the school bus with Alex.
The last book that I read, Still Missing, I started on the plane heading back from Spring Break at Disney World. I read 50% of the book in that one day. Then I managed to finish it within the week upon return. I had seen a review of this book in People Magazine and put it on my Wish List - and then eventually purchased it with a birthday gift card. I often take simple chances on a book - no one offering it up as “a good read.” I have to say that this book has left me with intense deep thinkings that I actually felt the need to share here. SPOILER ALERT: The main character is kidnapped following a house open house and is held prisoner by an absolute psychopath who forces her into a controlled schedule, nightly rapings, and then kills their daughter after she bonds more with the baby than he does…The book is told completely from the first person (the kidnapped woman) as she is having much needed therapy sessions. So each chapter is a therapy session and you already know that somehow she has gotten away and is back in life - though her current status is far from normal. It soon unravels that the purpose of her kidnapping was put into motion by her selfish, alcoholic mother - who even after being arrested and charged is still in denial (”I only meant for you to be gone a week, Annie Bear.”) and is clueless how this has affected anyone other than herself.
While reading these sections, I went back constantly in my mind to the often-referred to book, Motherless Daughters. While most of this book is applicable to daughters whose mothers died, a part of it was specific to daughters whose mothers are actually still alive but not present (either by abandonment or withholding affection). I often related to these parts as well because even when my mother was alive, she was very preoccupied with herself and things that revolved around her.
While I found the mother in Still Missing completely out of touch with reality and am not at all saying that this is something that my own mother would have done…it shows you the complete extreme that a mother can be. Where you are literally saying that life is better without her. And when your mother doesn’t want to bond with you and your own motherhood stories (which did happen to me), then you have to build your own mothering ways…and that can be the hardest thing to do.
